sleep tight...or loose.

Well, my FB post today about getting 11 hours of sleep got a very positive reaction, so I decided to write about sleepwear tonight (before going to bed at a very reasonable hour).

Where to begin? Well, like many of you, my early sleepwear consisted of little polyester sleepy footie jammies. Then there was the long series of scratchy polyester themed nightgowns (Snoopy, Holly Hobbie, Wonder Woman). Luckily, these got replaced in my household c.1981 by "Lanz of Salzburg" flannel nightgowns. We called these "flannie nighties", and I always preferred to wear them backwards (buttons in front). We wore them until they were smooth, pale shadows of their formal selves, and then we used them to polish the silver and got a new one for Christmas. Lovely. (Side note: Maddeningly, you cannot buy the same nightgowns for your daughter because they are now made only in crappy flame retardant blech stuff. If anyone has a source for good old plain unretarded flannel nightgowns for kids, let me know. Until then, they're in equally-flammable but super soft Hanna Andersson long johns.).

At some point, though (Paul reports that it was well after college), I switched to the top-and-bottom form of sleepwear, aka jammies. I think I got tired of battling the leg-wrap-n-trap problem of long nightgowns, and also started enjoying the option of wearing my jammies for most of the day on weekends, which isf frankly just a little harder to pull off in a flowered nightgown. Once I had the babies, nighttime nursing seemed easier in a two-piece rig as well.

While I have owned and still do own some nice matching jammies (similar to this Garnet Hill pair, e.g.)

most of my sleepwear now consists of just really soft old t-shirts (LS in winter, SS or tank in summer) and drawstring cotton pants that, I will admit, mostly came from QT. None of it is remotely stylish, cute, charming, insouciant, alluring, beguiling, or anything else (besides really comfortable) that sleepwear could, in theory, be. Am I missing an opportunity here? How might my life be different if I had some of those awesome bedtime outfits that Betty Draper has? If we believe our clothes "say something" about who we are, what does schlumpy mismatched sleepwear say? I don't think I want to know...

In the meatime, those crafty clothing companies have figured out that we like to wear our jammies all day and also, a la Fred Rogers and Don Draper, we want to shed our work clothes as soon as we get home at the end of the day. So they invented loungewear.  Loungewear is so handy! You can sleep in it, of course. You can wear it for what my younger daughter calls a "home potato" day - those rainy cold weekend days where you don't have to leave the house for any reason.  You can wear it to yoga class, drive the kids to school in it, walk to the dog, and curl up on the couch with either your morning coffee or you late night martini. Almost all the major clothing companies some kind of loungewear line which is distinct from both their sleepwear and their workout gear.  I note, though, that there is a considerable variation in the fanciness of so-called loungewear. The stuff that J. Crew calls "weekend lounge" is dressier than 80% of my wardrobe. I guess they mean "to go out to a cocktail lounge" rather then "lounge around the house on Friday night eating coffee ice cream at catching up on four days' worth of the NYT".   Gap loungewear falls under the broader "Gap Body" line, and is more the lightweight hoodies and wide-waistbanded drawstring floppy pants of my loungewear ideal. (Note that Gap even has a maternity loungewear line!) J. Jill has no loungewear that I could find - odd. Target appears to allocate approximately 14% of its floorspace to loungewear. I ducked in to AnnTaylor LOFT today (or do we just call it "LOFT" now?) and investigated their "lounge" line  - all stretchy black & white & grey, and frankly a little "gym" for my tastes. I like my lounge more jammies than jumping jacks.  Victoria's Secret clearly agrees with me, as they pair the two in sleep + lounge line...

In reviewing my "jammies drawer" (yep, it's actually called that), I see that I've just blended my loungewear and sleepwear. If and when I buy clothes again, I think I'm going to upgrade the loungewear -- I crave those fleecy buttery soft gray pants that pair perfectly with a silky stretch cami and chenille hoody. Ummmm....can't wait. But upgrading the actual sleepwear???? Probably not.

My sleepwear questions for you:

1. What do you wear to bed and why?
   
2. If you share a bed, what does your bedmate think of your sleepwear? At the risk of TMI, are there any occasions for alternative forms of sleepwear?
   
3. How far outside of the house (and outside of sleeping hours) will you wear your sleepwear? (Front stoop to pick up a paper? Down the block to mail a letter? In the car to drop your kid off at school?)
   
4. Is there a loungewear/sleepwear distinction in your wardrobe?
   
5. Where do you get your sleepwear? Did some or all of your sleepwear have a former life as regular clothes?
   
6. Are there any must-wear or won't-wear fabrics or formats?
   
7. And...if you're willing to share: undies or no undies with sleepwear? (Did your mom ever tell you that your body has to "breathe" at night?)
   

What Real Simple says I need...

I do love Real Simple, and feel like I can take a little mini-vacation when it arrives every  month. Nothing in it *is* actually all that simple, but I love pretending that I too could get my kids out the door in the morning or remake an unused closet into a home office or prepare a month of lovely nutritious dinners with one trip to the supermarket. The "aha!" uses for ordinary household items also cracks me up.

So, I was curious to revisit an article I remembered about a wardrobe basics checklist. 

"Maybe," I thought, "this is the root of the problem with my haphazard cheap-o thrift store jumble  - I lack the basics!"

Well -- let's peer into Alison's closet and see: 

Always in Season

Black tank. A white tank has its place—at the gym or on casual outings—but a black one is more universal. Dress it up with dark jeans or a skirt.

 Bought one @ Victoria's Secret a few years ago. Too small, too tight, but also too long. weird racer back. Can't wear it under button-down shirts like CJ Cregg on West Wing Score: 0

Short-sleeved white T-shirt. White tees become unwearable quickly, so skip the costly designer versions and buy a bunch of good-looking inexpensive ones. Then replace as needed.

So - if you only shop at thrift stores, your white t-shirts start out with a disadvantage. Most of mine have migrated to the jammies/workout drawer. I see the advantage of finding a brand/cut you really like and just buying a dozen. Do my three decent long-sleeve white shirts count? Score: 0

Short-sleeved black T-shirt. The best short-sleeve length is about 1/2 to 1 inch longer than a typical cap sleeve—it shows just the right amount of arm. 

I have an OK three-quarter sleeve one, but no SS. Also, not sure I look great in black Score: 0

Long-sleeved white T-shirt. For a trim silhouette in white, choose a slim-fit T-shirt that skims your body but doesn't cling. 

Aha! Yes! Have one. In all honesty, it's a little too tight and too sheer to wear alone, but great for layering. I have a nice chunkier one, 3/4 sleeve for on its own. Score: 1

Long-sleeved black T-shirt. A surprisingly sophisticated layering piece, this works well under a dress shirt—or even a dress. 

Under a dress shirt? Really? Above mentioned black 3/4 sleeve is strictly casual. Score: 0.5

Black turtleneck. Consider investing in cashmere: You get more warmth with less bulk. 

I hate turtlenecks. (I do like cashmere, though.) Score: 0

White button-down shirt. A fitted one will get the most wear: It's easier to tuck in and looks neat when left out.

I love mine. It has longish tails. Purchased @ QT. I had to wear it two days in a row this week (long story), and it held up pretty well. Score: 0.75

Crisp white blouse. Softer looking than a button-down, a white blouse is a timeless addition to any wardrobe. 

Crisp? No. (I don't really iron). Nothing that could be called a "blouse" really lives in my closet. Score: 0

Crewneck sweater. Thin knits, in cotton or wool, layer easily for versatility and comfort. 

Oooh! ooh! Yes, I have couple of these. One peacock green, one black. Both from QT, both a little tight. Both get worn all the time. Score: 2

Cardigan. A neutral shade goes with everything, and a longer style that hits at the hip flatters most figures. 

Is poison green neutral? Mine is not "longer style" - it's a 3/4 sleeve (do we hear a pattern here?) cropped one with big buttons. LOVE it. It's getting pilly. Score: 0.75

A black dress. The “little black dress” is a cliche for a reason: It’s a wardrobe necessity. 

I have two, both exceedingly formal (one spaghetti strap floor length velvet, one awesome boatneck MadMen/Jackie O style. They get worn less than once per year, so this is not what RS is talking about. Score: 0

Pencil skirt. This classic piece should be tailored so it grazes the tops of the knees. 

I'm not sure my butt is designed for a pencil skirt. I have a lot of skirts, a couple of them fit ok. Most of the ones that "graze the tops of the knees" are bias cut swirly skirts. Score: 0

Jeans. It's worth paying extra for jeans that fit and flatter. Your best bet? A pair made from stretch denim with no more than 2 percent Lycra. (The fabric will follow your curves while keeping its shape.) 

See JN's and Amy's comments about jeans. Clearly this is something like face cream and undergarments that require more thought and a larger budget as we get older. So I have ~5 pairs of jeans, all thrift store. I've sort of named them in my head (do you do this?) -- there's the Saturday pair and the Suburban Mom pair (high waist, cropped), the Suck It In pair, etc. The current set has survived multiple purges so I must wear all of them relatively frequently. I think the Banana Republic pair fits best. Score: 5 pairs, discounted for less than optimal fit = 2.

Black pants. To get the most from this wardrobe staple, select a style made of an all-season fabric, like tropical wool or viscose. 

Hillary! You rock! I have 2 pairs - one goes with my bought-in-7-minutes-before-an-interview Anne Klein suit (not a great fit) and the other is a lightweight polyester pair that I wear all the time. Meh. They're ok. Score: 0.75

Skinny jeans. Once considered a trend, they are now a denim staple. Skinny jeans look best when they don’t fit too snugly at the waist.

I will confess here that I don't know what "skinny jeans" are. Are they supposed to make you look skinny? Or do they have ittle skinny legs? Don't have either. Score: 0

Khaki pants. For a casual, comfortable look, forget the pleats (a flat front is more flattering) and forgo the front crease. 

Yes! Have 2 pairs: regular and cropped. Both flat front! (Both QT) The cropped pair is particularly awesome. Can go to the office in the summer. Score: 2

Denim jacket. A dark wash and a slim fit look the most polished. 

I have a velvet jacket that's cut like a jeans jacket. Does that count? It doesn't really fit. Score: 0.5

Cropped jacket: Made famous by Coco Chanel, this item has become a fashion mainstay. You’ll have more opportunities for pairing with one in a solid color or traditional tweed. 

During my bright college years, I could still fit into an amazing suit of my mother's - made for her in Paris in 1961. 3/4 sleeve, cropped, matching skirt (maybe a pencil skirt?) It's now in a bin waiting for my girls to grow into it. Sigh. My recent suit purchase (AnnTaylor, black & white polka dot) has a cropped jacket but I can't imagine wearing it with anything but the skirt. Score: 0

Black cashmere wrap. A fabric that was once seen only in fall and winter has become a year-round regular. 

Like a pashmina? Just a big rectangle of fabric? I have a lot of wraps but not black. Score: 0

OMG, that's only the "always in season" list. There are also season-specific lists, maybe I'll tackle the rest of the list another time. Total score so far: 9.25/17. Hmmm...

So - what do we think? Is this what every woman really needs in her closet? Is this what grown ups wear? Would I face the "nothing to wear" demons much less frequently if I had all of this? 


Does following this kind of list turn us into drab uniform-wearing automatons?  Can we make up our own basics list? Have a different uniform? How do you alter or build on such a list to have your own personal style?

And -- where would I go to fill these holes? Is there a one-stop shop? How much would I need to do it right??

T.O.: Brown embroidered skirt from last QT trip (Fall 08), SS blue Ann Taylor t-shirt (doesn't fit). Was supposed to bring my red J.Jill shirt to change into at work (my walk is long and sweaty) but forgot it - so had to throw above-mentioned white dress shirt on over blue t-shirt. (I had left the white shirt at work by accident). Frump.O.Rama. Also -went to bed with wet hair so the complete picture was not what you'd call "pulled together".

Origins of The Wardrobe Project

It probably makes sense to rewind and describe how I got here-- "here" being 3/4ths of the way towards achieving my 2009 New Year's Resolution.

I like decision rules. And I like personal productivity and organizational systems. Personal productivity and organizational systems that involve decision rules are the best. In late December 2008 I noticed that: A) I had nothing to wear (I'm sure you've never felt the same way staring into the maw of your own closet), and B) nothing really fit, and C) the pretty small closet I share with Paul was already overstuffed and D) My penchant for chronic overshopping at the best thrift store in the world (I love you Quality Thrift!!) had been curtailed by my move from LA to the East Coast and E) I had never actually accomplished a New Year's Resolution that I had set and thought it would nice to give that a try. It seemed like a natural next step to try an achievable NYR that somehow dealt with The Closet Problem in a gloriously transformative way.

Thus The Wardrobe Project (2009) was born. The two-fold goal:

1. Purchase no clothes (or shoes or accessories) in 2009, and
2. Get rid of 52 pieces (i.e, one each week) of existing wardrobe detritus.

This seemed straightforward, easily measurable, and, as Buffy the Vampire Slayer sings, "brave and kinda righteous." After a Victoria Secret semi-annual sale spree for bras and underwear, I kicked off on January 3.

And - it's been totally easy, 99% achievable (2 minor failures will be reported later), and...not at all transformative. This failure to transform is at the root of my motivation to do the p&pg blog. Shouldn't this exercise have left me with a streamlined, elegant, well-fitting, lovely and timeless wardrobe? Shouldn't the sifting of wheat from chaff and the noble feel-goodness of getting rid of so much stuff have catapulted me into a new era of sartorial splendor? Nah. It just left me with an empt(ier) closet and the horror of confronting some particularly bad decision-making that I've made over the past 10+ years. Thus -- Wardrobe Project, Year 2,  which will be recorded, processed, and mulled over in p&pg.

When I mentioned the Wardrobe Project to friends and acquaintances this year, I could expect one of two questions:

1. How did you not buy any new clothes for a whole year??

or

2. How did you get rid of 52 pieces of clothing??

Which of the two questions was posed usually said a lot about the clothing, shopping, and hoarding habits of the asker. I will admit that #1 was harder for me than #2.  A lot of money and MBA marketing power is devoted to encouraging us (by "us" I mean women aged 30-49 with disposable income) to buy a lot of new clothes every year. And do we oblige? The numbers I could find on annual clothing spending were actually surprisingly low:

"We've already stockpiled enough clothes to last us for years. The average annual shopping haul swelled from $1,550 per household in 2002 to $1,760 last year. That spending spree was prompted in part by what the Bureau of Labor Statistics says was a 30 percent drop in real apparel prices over the past decade. With cheap imports allowing a dollar to buy more, the physical bulk of garb purchased by the average household has risen 18 percent in just five years."

Only $1760 per year per household? While that's probably more than my household spends (and why don't I know what our household spends on clothing, BTW?), I definitely thought the average was higher.  Until  The Wardrobe Project (2009), my annual clothes purchasing behavior looked something like this:

•  About 8 "sprees" at a thrift store or consignment store, during each of which I would buy 4-12 items for a total of about $40-$100 (usually $3-$10 per item.) I would buy mostly casual tops and pants, sometimes a wacky dress or jacket. The low price does create a low purchasing threshold for me -- thrift store items can almost fit, or be almost the right color, or be missing a button, or be so last decade (as distinct from hipster retro), and I'll still buy.  And I wonder why there's nothing decent in my closet...
  
•  1 or 2 tormented purchases of big ticket items like boots, a coat, a suit, a formal dress, etc. These purchases are tormented because I have no faith in my ability to correctly select the right item, and because spending more than $40 on a single piece of clothing or pair of shoes makes me anxious and usually a little a nauseated. I usually take a spouse or good friend along, and try to stick to a few trusted stores like AnnTaylor.
  
• The above-mentioned early January pilgrimage to Victoria's Secret for exactly 3 bras and 8 pairs of cotton undies. Low sale price always trumps color, style, fabric, or, yes, even fit, so this is not a particularly useful way to buy undergarments.
  
• Occasional shoe purchases as needed, usually by mail from Lands End (I'm exactly their Size 7), or at an  upscale shoe store like Benjamin Lovell in Philly or a Dansko/Birkenstock-type store. Unlike the second bullet point above, there is no torment around these purchases, even those that exceed (gulp!) $200, as my Masai Barefoot Technology shoes did.
• [There is a whole second set of purchasing behaviors for the kids' clothes, but I'll save that for another post. I don't buy clothes for Paul, but occasionally attend him on his infrequent purchasing trips...]
  

Now - back to the two NYR stipulations: Don't buy, and purge. Not buying was definitely hard, particularly when within striking distance of a good thrift store or when then J.Jill or Title 9 clearence catalog showed up. On the other hand, it eliminated the angst of the big ticket purchases (well, postponed more than eliminated as I now have a backlog of major items that must be purchased in 2010. Like, a winter coat. Don't have one of those...). Purging was laughably easy, mostly because my thrift store purchases were so regularly egregious that it was really easy to offload 50+ items. I'll do another post on how I actually did the purging -- it's all about frequency filing...)

Ok, that was a bit of a ramble, but if there are any actual readers out there, tell me:

1. Which would be harder for you - the no buy provision, or the get rid of 52 pieces provision?
2. Do you have any sense of what you spend on clothing per year? How is it allocated (new vs. used, catalog vs. bricks-and-mortar, casual vs. work vs. fancy, lots of little purchases vs. big splurges; predictable vs. unpredictable???)
3. Is buying clothes fun or a chore? What makes it so?

Today's outfit: Drawstring jeans from ?QT or another thrift store; brown button down shirt that didn't survive the dryer so well; J. Jill shelf bra cami in ?slate or some other brown - purchased in Carmel J.Jill store on sale. Shoes: Dansko clogs, recently replaced when my friend's dog ate one of them.